A DREAM WITHIN DREAMS

A TWISTED TAIL II

Another hack at a story by yours truly. If you caught the first one about two months ago, you'll realize this is an attempt to make amends for the rather stereotypical shapeshifting scene that I wrote. This story is about a mental shift, rarely touched upon by most transformation stories it would seem. Anyway, enjoy. It might even give you a couple of tips on how to Dream better...

Copyright Utlah 1997. Do not copy, transfer, save, print out and make into paper planes, or distribute this story without my prior consent. That way if it's naff, it can disappear easier...

"The error function of quantized noise can be determined by taking the integral of the probability of error over the step range..."

*THUD*

Banging my head against the lecture notes didn’t make them any easier to understand. Neither did sticking my tongue out and blowing a raspberry. Needless to say concentration levels were low. Rubbing my face wasn’t helping either as my body still screamed for rest. Leaning back in the chair, I sighed and looked around the room. White wood-chip wallpaper, what had ever possessed me? At least most of it was hidden by numerous wolf posters. Obsessed? Perhaps. The computer stared blankly at me from the desk, inert yet questioning at my bizarre behaviour.

"So I’m nuts, so sue me." I told the computer. As always, it came back with the best reply it could. Silence.

I looked towards the bedroom window. At this angle, all that could be seen was the darkening sky, the ebbing red of sunset gradually fading. An urban fox barked in the distance, its cry was like a distant scream for help. The temptation to go to the window and check if the fox could be seen, was quickly overcome by lethargy. I needed rest, and my exam wasn’t for a few days yet. I decided it was time...

Sitting upright allowed me to reach the shelf that was above the desk. I browsed through various cassette tapes until I came across one containing relaxation music. The label accused the tape of containing forest sounds with wolf howls. I lent towards the hi-fi and inserted the tape into the deck. As I pressed play, the tape deck juddered and the play button popped back out. Cursing my ineptitude I removed the cassette, spun it between my fingers and placed it back in the deck, making sure that it was facing the correct way around. When the play button was pressed this time, the hi-fi speakers emitted a high pitched hiss as the tape began to spool.

Soothing music began to play over the speakers, a quiet piano, accompanied by the sounds of birds and crickets in the background. Reaching into the desk draw, I pulled out a box of matches. I took out a match, struck it, and then lit several candles that were scattered around the room. Once they were all lit, the matchbox was returned to the desk draw.

It was a warm night, so I stripped down to my underwear. The air moved slightly against my skin, allowing my body to dispel the humid heat better. I brushed the back of an arm with the other hand, feeling the dense hair travel under the palm of my hand.

"What it would be like to have real fur..." My voice trailed off as I gazed across the room towards the posters. "I would do anything to become one of you." I told the images on the wall. They just stared back, haunting. Sighing, I went over to the bed and laid down on top of the duvet, my head resting on the pillows.

I looked up towards the ceiling. Most of my view consisted of the flat grey of the ceiling, but towards the edges of my vision I could see the shelf and part of the wall above me. I could also see the top of the wardrobe, and the wolf posters above the bed. I let out a heavy sigh to release the tension in my chest, and closed my eyes.

I began my autohypnosis technique, which started with relaxing the body. To begin with, I placed my arms out straight by my sides and extended my legs so that they too were straight. My fingers curled slightly and the tendons in my fingers became relaxed. As I became more comfortable, I started to control my breathing, filling my chest and allowing the air to gently escape by relaxing my chest. I kept this rhythm going, feeling my mind begin to wander.

Then I started the relaxation exercises which I had been taught in school to help reduce stress. I doubt they would have approved of what I was using it for now, but I didn’t care. Starting from the head and working downwards, I began to tense and relax my muscles in turn. Picking a different muscle every time, I tensed it, and then allowed it to relax as I let each breath out. Gradually as my body became more and more relaxed, the sensation of floating began to creep in. Checking to make sure that no other parts of my body were tense, a warm, pleasant sensation permeated my body. I could no longer feel the world around me, not even the bed beneath me.

Now that my body was totally relaxed, I began to focus my thoughts. I imagined that I was lying in a wood, the soil underneath me dry and warm, with lush green grass short and supple after the spring thaw. I visualized a thin canopy above me, sunlight filtering through the green leaves. A river was nearby, I imagined that I could hear the flow of water off to one side. Now it was if my real body did not exist, all my senses were contained within my own consciousness.

The grass was making my back itch, so I sat up and examined myself. I giggled at my naked body. I considered conjuring up some clothes, but then realized that no one was going to spy on me in my own imagination. Besides, it was a wonderful day, and the sun was warm and refreshing.

Standing up I inspected the surroundings. Off to the left I could see the river that I heard earlier, flowing by with its blue waters looking cool and inviting. Everywhere else there were trees for as far as the eye could see. Smelling the clean, crisp air, I turned and headed for the riverbank. The grass, which now felt slightly moist and cool under my feet, had a rich smell to it. Kneeling down at the bank, I cupped my hands and scooped some of the river water up to my face.

"Cold!"

I shook the excess water from my hands and stood up again. Feeling the need to exercise, I began to jog along the bank, keeping apace of the waters flowing alongside.

It wasn’t long before I had the feeling I was being watched. Sure enough, from the corner of my right eye, I saw a dark shape move among the trees. Sensing danger, I stopped and stared into the forest. After a few moments, the dark shape reappeared, and started to move slowly towards me. As it drew closer towards the edge of the woods and the light of day, I saw that the dark shape was in fact a Timberwolf. A very beautiful one at that. His brown and grey fur shone in the light filtering through the trees, his nose jet black, and eyes a vivid yellow. The wolf stopped approaching, and seemed to examine me. With left forepaw at an odd angle and head tilted to one side, he gave a distinct impression of interest or curiosity. I remained motionless, and the wolf resumed his slow methodical approach.

As he drew level to me, the wolf shouldered my right leg, nearly knocking me off my feet. The wolf continued to brush against my legs, sniffing anything that approached his muzzle. Making no sudden movements, I slowly brought my hand across the wolf’s field of vision and then towards the top of his head. I was then able to caress his furry head. The fur reminded me of the time I brushed the back of my arm, in a time and a place that now seemed so alien and remote. This was a dream... my mind wandered.

Seeming to have satisfied his curiosity for now, the wolf started to wander back into the woods. However, before he reached the dark shelter of the canopy he stopped and looked back towards me. The wolf was waiting.

I held my arms out in front of me, and stared at them. I imagined fur.

There was fur, short grey and brown fibres, gradually fading to a cream colour as it approached the roots. It covered all of my outstretched limbs. It felt that every nerve cell in the arms was alert and alive, sending information back to my brain, giving information about wind speed and direction.

I pushed further, and imagined the fur covered my entire body. I imagined the wind as it blew across my fur covered body, replacing the odd human feeling of nakedness with a sense of warmth and security. I stroked my shoulders and arms with the side of my face.

The wolf took a few more steps towards the edge of the forest, but stopped and looked back towards me again.

I held my arms out straight in front of me, and started to imagine them getting shorter, drawing the elbows down towards my sides. I clenched my hands into fists, and quickly they became paws. Arching my back, I worked out a few kinks in the spine, and narrowed the torso. The fur on the chest became more scruffy and longer, and a tail started to form from the base of my spine. As my back became fully arched, I raised my head and imagined my face distorting into that of the wolf. It was if it was on fire, drawing the first breath through a much more sensitive and longer nasal cavity. Finally I fell forward onto what were now my forepaws, my legs drawing upwards and distorting into hindquarters.

In one seemingly fluid, painless motion, I had transformed into a wolf.

The wolf that I had seen earlier gave a short howl, and darted into the woods. I followed...

...Meanwhile, as my human body became more relaxed, the heart contained within it began to slow. It eventually slowed to a stop, and my body, my old human body died...

I was happy.

Written by Utlah