HOW TO TELL SOMEONE YOU'RE A WEREWOLF.

(Or "I see you like wolves...")

Finding it awkward to tell someone you're a werewolf? A flatmate? A girlfriend perhaps? You can't build yourself up to saying those immortal words "I'm a Werewolf."? Well worry no longer with this almost useful guide on telling someone that all important secret.

1. "The reason why you haven't seen tiddles the cat recently is because..."
2. "You know that thing I keep doing to your leg?"
3. "I'm afraid to say it, but it wasn't fido who wet the settee..."
4. "About those muddy pawprints in the kitchen..."
5. "I see you've noticed all the hair in the plughole."
6. "You know all these dead bodies that have been turning up on the doorstep?"
7. "I'm sorry, but I don't want you wearing that silver necklace because..."
8. "Now you're probably wondering what I'm doing with this chew toy aren't you?"
9. "Woof?"
10. "Those weren't dogs barking last night."
11. "Ah yes, I do have a tree in the bathroom. There is a reason for that."
12. "I like the red cape, but you're probably wondering why I brought you here..."
13. "Clawmarks? Oh... THOSE clawmarks..."
14. "There's no need to cook dinner tonight, it's a full moon."
15. "What makes you think my fingernails are longer?"
16. "Ah, my bushy tail. I wondered when you'd notice that."
17. "You're probably wondering how I can lick my own balls aren't you?"
18. "The reason why there's been no mail recently..."
19. "The reason I play "Of Wolf and Man" a lot is because..."
20. "There's no shampoo left because...."
21. "There's something I should tell you about that hicky I gave you last night."
22. "I think Diefenbaker is sexier than Benton Fraser because..."
23. "You may have noticed something strange about my friends."
24. "Behind my back? It's just a box of Bonios..."
25. "I'd better tell you where all the meat in the freezer has gone."
26. "Mmuph! *Gulp* What cat?"
27. "That rug in my bedroom, it's not a rug..."

"Hon...you know how they're always talking about getting in touch with your inner child? Well, I did...and I found out my inner child is a puppy..."

Now what I wanna hear is a way to break it to your relatives yer a windigo.

"Uh...body parts? What body parts? Those body parts? Ooops..."

"Uh...you know those campfire stories they always told...uhhhh...let's just say parts of 'em are true, we are going to immediately need a meat locker and about ten sides of beef, and leave it at that."

You announce you're off to sue Troma for unfair depiction of atshens... :)

Written by Windigo The Feral (NYAR!)