DOGS AND MEAL SPEED.

Dear Dr. Science,

I have a dog. My family usually feeds it at the same time we eat our dinner. Using the observation technique, I notice my dog finishes his dinner before we finish ours almost every night. I see this with many dogs. Do dogs eat faster than humans? If so, why?

-- Heather, Age 12, Colorado Springs, CO

Well, Heather, the dog is eating as quickly as it can in order to get down as much as possible before intense revulsion sets in. Part of it is because he's eating dog food (yuck), but mostly, the dog is grossed out by your manners. Besides smelling up the dining room with the harsh artificial scents of fabric softener, deodorant, aftershave, perfume and shampoo, humans neglect even the rudiments of dog culinary etiquette. When's the last time you properly slobbered on your food before you ate it? Where are the hearty slurping sounds that make your meal enjoyable? When it's time to nap after the meal, why don't you turn around three times before settling down on the floor? Because, quite frankly, you're a cad, a boor, a slob -- at least in your dog's eyes,

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Dr. Science