Dawn Wolf's Werecard

From: starwolf7@hotmail.com (Dawn Wolf)

Human Name: Justine
Were Name: Dawn Wolf
Phenotype: Grey Wolf
Shifting Ability: Mental, aura, astral.
Birthdate: 2/11/82

Birthplace: Somewhere in Michigan, I suspect a hospital.
Home Territory: Also somewhere in Michigan.
Dream Territory: A prairie, the REAL thing, not some plowed up, tamed, 
cow-populated version.

Physical Description, Human: Female, 5' (I'm "vertically challenged"), 
100 lbs., dark blonde hair, hazel grey eyes.
Physical Description, Were: Pretty typical looking wolf, a bit on the 
small side, light brownish-grey fur, with buff on my face and undersides, 
a few darker markings here and there, hazel grey eyes. 
Human Career: Student

Hobbies/Interests: Drawing and painting (I'm told I'm good at it, but 
those are other people's opinions, not my own), collecting as much wolf 
stuff as I can get my paws on, reading, writing stories and poetry, going 
for the record of most time spent on the internet.
Favorite Movies: Dances With Wolves, Star Trek II.
Favorite Were-movie: Wolfen is the only one I can stand. I'm waiting for 
a movie to come out with a better approach to wereness.
Favorite Literature: Anything by J.R.R. Tolkien.
Favorite Were Literature: Of Wolves and Men by Barry Lopez. I haven't 
read any books exclusively on werewolves.
Favorite Art: Carl Brenders
Favorite Were-art: Eric Elliot, my own stuff.
Favorite Quote: "There is no teacher who can teach anything new, he can 
just help us to remember the things we always knew." -Enigma
Favorite Were Saying/Quote: "What but the wolf's tooth whittled so fine, 
the fleet limbs of the antelope?" -Robinson Jeffers
Favorite Personal Quote: "I do not discriminate. I hate you all equally."
Favorite Song/Band(s): Enigma, Adiemus. 
Favorite Were Song/Band(s): Of Wolf and Man is the only were song I've 
ever heard, but there are several non-were-related songs which appeal to 
me in a very lupine way.
Favorite Season: Spring. I would enjoy winter a great deal, if only I 
could have my natural fur coat. (Wishful thinking) 
Favorite Holidays: Halloween and Christmas (Any holidays where you get to 
eat a lot and people give you lots of free stuff can't be that bad.)

Preferred Prey: Deer, rabbits, wild cheesecake.
Hunting Tips: Surprise, then chase. In the case of cheesecake, open box, 
then defrost.
Preferred Method of Attack: I really enjoy chasing my food down.
Favorite Non-Were Mythological Beast: Dragons
Feelings Toward Vampires: I have a friend who's a vampire, but I don't 
really know enough to make a good judgement. As long as they don't feed 
off me, I don't care.
Feelings Toward Normal Humans: Individual humans can be intelligent, 
open-minded, caring, and have their priorities straight. However, 
humanity as a whole behaves stupidly (I'd like to see evidence of the 
"superior intellect" they like to brag about), is blind, cruel, careless, 
and destructive. I consider "normal" humans to be ignorant, arrogant, and 
too materialistic to see what's truly important in life.


Personal Therianthropy: 

	All right, here comes the *really* long part, where I ramble far too much…

I consider myself to be a wolf in a human body. This is something I've 
known all my life, even when I was a young child. In fact, the first 
memory I have of my childhood is the fact that I "knew" I was a wolf, and 
often behaved accordingly. Of course, people thought I was "pretending," 
when I wasn't. I knew what I was, and I acted the way I felt. I didn't 
get my idea about how wolves behave from a children's fairy tale, or any 
book, for that matter. I knew on my own how I was supposed to be, and 
being so young, I didn't understand at the time why acting the way I felt 
was such a big deal to others, even if I was a canine and not a human. 
Eventually, family members started to complain that I was getting "too 
old to pretend you're an animal." I still knew I was a wolf, and I wasn't 
about to forget about what I was, but I decided to suppress the most 
obvious physical behaviors. But, I wouldn't truly abandon what I was, I 
could never do that. Although I never howl at just any moment I feel like 
it anymore, I still behave in a distinctly lupine way, I couldn't hide 
everything, and I didn't want to. I commonly growl, bare my teeth, woof 
very quietly the way wolves do, and whimper. I think of myself as a wolf. 
My personality, my thoughts, opinions, emotions, reactions, cares, likes, 
and dislikes, are all very lupine. In my dreams, I am almost always in 
wolf form, or shift during some point of the dream. I don't really 
consider myself to have a separate were "side". I consider myself to be 
one creature inside, not two put together. I physically may be a human, 
but that's about it. 

Anyway… As I got older, I never doubted what I was, it was the truest 
thing in the world to me. I did get very lonely, however, and I never fit 
in with most people very well. I didn't understand them, and they didn't 
understand me. Then, my lucky day came. I was surfing the 'net, and I 
decided to search under "wolves," not even werewolves. One of the sites 
it came up with sounded interesting by the name of it, it was MegaDog's 
site, in fact. I started reading the part about werewolves, and I was 
surprised to find that what was being described was similar to my 
feelings! I read some werecards, and found more sites about werewolves 
and AHWW, and the more I read, the more happily shocked I was. Here were 
other people who felt like me, when I had previously thought I was alone 
in the world. I lurked in AHWW for about a year. I decided not to join 
sooner, because I did not have steady access to newsgroups all the time.

All right, now I'll talk about my shifting. (This just goes on and on, 
doesn't it?) As I mentioned earlier, I think of myself as a wolf, my 
"inner view" of myself is strictly wolf, and my behavior in every day 
life is rather wolfish. What I consider to be a mental shift for me (This 
might not fit the usual definition), is when I let go and don't suppress 
*any* of my more natural behavior, I allow myself to howl, run around 
freely, ect. This either happens because I let it happen, or at extremes 
of emotion. When I feel threatened, I will usually run away or bite, for 
example. I also aura shift, and astral shift. When I shift in my dreams, 
it's usually accompanied by the most convincing feeling of actually 
shifting. I can feel myself transforming, and if I am already a wolf in 
the dream, I can feel everything as if it were real. When I wake up at 
these times, I find myself in the midst of a phantom shift, *sigh* 
nothing more. It's quite common for me, and I just thought I'd mention 
it. I would like to physically be a wolf very much, but my attempts at a 
mind-over-matter kind of p-shifting have never resulted in anything other 
than a feeling of having all my energy drained at worst, or a phantom 
shift at best. I honestly doubt that I'll ever be capable of physically 
becoming what I am in my soul, but hey, I got to try. I suppose there 
must be a reason for me to be this way in the first place.

Yes, I'm STILL not done. Anyone who can finish reading this whole thing 
gets a free candy bar. I consider myself to be semi-open about my 
wereness. I would never tell my family, they are far to "normal" to be 
able to take it well, but I also never hide most of my lupine tendencies 
from people. Most people notice there's something different about me, and 
all my friends are well aware that my opinions are a bit strange, that 
I'm "into" wolves (Most of them only know that I like them a great deal), 
and that I act very wolfish. Most of them simply take it to be a joke, or 
that I'm eccentric. I often refer to myself as a wolf in front of other 
people, but it is almost always in a joking way, unless I think they can 
handle the truth. I am gifted in that the few friends I have, I am lucky 
enough that they are true friends, and although only one is a were, the 
human friends I have I consider to be "above average" humans, and they 
are very open-minded and accepting. I figure that if anyone thinks I'm 
serious, and asks me about it directly, I'll tell them. Otherwise, I will 
neither hide nor openly inform people what I am, unless I think they 
should know. So far, I've been brave enough to tell two people about what 
I am, my soulmate, who understood because he is also a were, as it turned 
out, and a Wiccan friend who has strong connections with both wolf and 
tiger spirits, though he doesn't consider himself a were. I haven't 
regretted telling either person.

Whew! Okay, it's over now. Thanks for reading it. :)

 
Dawn Wolf