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MoonShadow's Werecard

Name: Upon request.
Were name: MoonShadow
Phenotype: German Shephard-St.Bernard mix with Wolf in the pedigree of the German Shepard.

Birthdate: 05/06/74
Birthplace: Louisville, Kentucky
Home territory: Louisville, Kentucky (in the suburbs, with a big back yard)
Dream territory: Some nice quiet rural route where the nearest neighbor is 10 miles away, and will not come over to borrow a cup of sugar. This will be someplace to run wild with my hair down and with total privacy. I also want to see the stars, and the Moon (of course) without the limitations of light pollution form the cities.

Physical Description: 5'8", short is good, I can walk under the average tree without hitting my head!! Anglo-American (not that it matters much. We all bleed red)
Human career: I currently work at ICT group telemarketing firm in Louisville, KY. Yes, this means that I am one of those annoying telemarketers that call you in the mornings that you would like to sleep late and those that call you during dinner, just as you were to sit down. Although I want to have a carreer with computers, this is something that I can do in the meantime. Plus, I am good over the phone.

Hobbies/Interests: I raised rabbits, not for eating, though some of them give this look that makes me wonder, what are they thinking?? :) Computers (taking them apart too), reading, anything and everything. Traveling, and laughing at anything and everything. I also collect Windows sound files (*.wav files). I also like to Karaoke on occaision! and I am the Spot Light in the Louisville Rocky Horror Picture Show. I also like to Do the 'IRC' thing, as well as an occaisional MUCK. I also do Voluntairy Web page design, for fun, and I like to listen to a lot of music.
Favorite movies: Lion King, Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Roxanne, Jurrassic Park, StarTrek (all of the motion pictures) StarGate, ALL Monty Python Movies, X-Men cartoons with my brother. and Of course, Rocky Horror Picture Show! And there are a vast amount that is not in here, I would like to, but this website only has 5 megs of space availible.
Favorite were-movie: Wolf, makes me think of the animal inside and how that will relate with me; American Werewolf In London, THE best transformation sequence; Howling, the worst movie ever made but a good example on how a pack can live with each other, and work together as a pack.
Favorite literature: Michael Critchton's Congo, Jurassic park the books not the movies though the movie was good too. The Elvenbane, a story of when time was with elves and man, and dragons. There is a lot of other books that I like to read, but, again, the limitation of Web Space.
Favorite Were Literature: Haven't read much, The poetry/stories portrayed on the AHWW newsgroup is good too. Drums Around the Fire. And a few stories on that transformation story archive.
Favorite art: None as of this posting, leaning to the natural look, trees, fields of grain, ocean sunsets, the usual dentist office wall paper!! :)
Favorite were-art: WW:tA, StoryTellers HandBook cover has an immense picture of a WereWolf crouching for attack, getting a poster of that soon!! There is also pictures of werewolves on the avatar site that I find appealing.
Favorite quote: There are a few sigs that I have read on the NG have their merits, some of which are: "There are times when the Wolves are Silent and the Moon is Howling"...
Warning: These wolves have been known to snuggle you in your sleep.
Favorite Were Saying/Quote: "We goin' get a little respect" -Wolfman Jack.
Favorite Personal Quote: "The world gives everyone, one thing to make a fool out of themselves, a chance, I have been given many" -me
Favorite Song/Band(s): in no order of preference, just went down the list of CD's I have: Human Behaviour/Bjork, Revolution Earth/B-52's, Ode to my Family/Cranberries, Principals of Lust/Enigma, Basket Case/Green Day, Freedom/George Michael, Silent Warrior/Enigma, Of Wolf and Man/Metallica, Loosing My Religion/REM, and one from Redcoat: Oingo Boingo, "No one lives forever"; these are some of the songs that keep me going, if you have heard them or not, I do advise listening to them, some of the songs have a spiritual meaning that I have held dear since I have purchased them. Again, I am unable to list them all, for the limitations of the 5 megs that are on this site of mine.
Favorite season: Don't like summer, don't like winter, a happy medium would be nice!! Oh wait they have names spring and fall!
Favorite holidays: Easter, Christmas, any holiday I can eat my grandma's Chicken 'n' Dumplings (yummy!!)

Preferred prey: Squirrels, mice, rats, guinea pigs, annoying little brothers. That sort of thing :)
Hunting tips: Crouch low to the ground, and when they least expect it, lunge, or stay in a tree until you see them, they won't know how to defend themselves, (kind of cruel huh??) it works
Preferred method of attack: Stalk, plan, attack...the list can go on.
Favorite non-were mythological beast: Phoenix, Doppleganger.
Feelings toward vampires: Never met any, seen some hanging on street corners, all dressed in black, sunglasses, smoking cigarettes. Eh, I guess that they are tolerable.
Feelings toward normal humans: They're OK I guess, seem to be content on destroying themselves, their environment, and anything different that they don't understand. Except for my parents, I guess that I will never understand them...

Personal Lycanthropy:

This is very true and personal, Since I have poured out my feelings. This is kind of long but here it goes!!...
I knew since the 6th grade that I was different I was teased, taunted and treated as an outcast, as if they knew the rage was in me. They treated me like this for 3 years, always teasing me and always scaring me into submission. Until the 1st year in High School, when I saw An American Werewolf In London on NBC. That was the turning point, as a song rings a bell, so did this movie, I knew what I may be. I knew what I must do, find a way of becoming a werewolf. This turned into an obsession, I picked up every book I could read about WereWolves, and Lycanthropy, rented movies galore, and ran into unspeakable dead ends. Then, in April of '95, (who knows this could be told for the next 10 years!!) I ran into America On-Line. This got me in touch with vast information that I could use. And in a plea, I ran through the profile search and sent this letter to the people that had something to do with WereWolves in their profile. I then sent this as a request:

I would like to thank you for down loading this file. During the past few years I cave been intrigued and fascinated with WereWolves, Lycanthropy, Metamorphosis and the realm of the Supernatural. I have made it a study, research, and an almost obsession with unspeakable dead ends. As a last resort, I have fallen on to the America On-Line information services in some hope that some one could send me some information on the fore mentioned topics. I have yet to disbelieve the Mythological status of the Lycanthrope and yearn to witness the actual transformation myself. Please send me any information that you can, and I do hope you can help me. Please do not send me the information by this AOL service, but by standard mail. If the information proves useful in my search, and the postage is that above the size of a standard letter size, I will return the postage to you as cash and with a sincere gratitude. Again I will thank you for your attention.

This was my final attempt at help. Two months went by with no response. I became depressed, I didn't care any more until I ran across a news group browser and ran a search with anything that contained, "WereWolves or Werewolf or Lycanthrope or Lycanthropy". I then found AHWW and as a final plea for help, I sent a post:

...I know how devastating that may have become, I found myself in a similar circumstance in where I did not care any more. I was on the verge of being self destructive when all of a sudden I found someone (or something) who cares, for some unknown reason I decided to smile at every one that came my way and even if they didn't come my way, I smiled at them any way. This came to be a habit and I smiled all the time. People thought that I was a consistently happy person and started to hang around me. To show them that I was truly a "happy" person I shoved ALL of my depression down inside and I shudder to think of the day that it all comes out and I go over the edge never to be seen again. I am asking for help and as a request asking for guidance. (I am too cheap to pay for a shrink) Many thanks.

The response has been overwhelming and, it's nice to know that there is some one that reached out and touched me. They know who they are... I will say that before I received these kind words of support I was in a slump, my first rabbit died (after 6 years of life), my grades were sent in the mail (not too good). I wasn't getting enough sleep, woke up several times in the night, choking on something or yelling at someone. Believe me, I have had up and down periods in my life but this was REALLY Down. Almost to the point of taking my own life, but something inside was telling me to hang on. I really felt as though every thing was shot to hell.

Then I started reading the posts, and for the first time, I felt like I belonged, from the bottom up, I found some one that had been suppressed for a the longest time, my were side!! He had been there all along, he talked to me and I talked to him and we sorted out some of my problems together, as a team. With no formal introductions, I had no Idea what his name was, perhaps he told me and I was too stubborn to listen, but he was there. As a guide, we talked and discussed things, though I never saw him. Until one night after taking care of my animals (night of a full moon-no less) He appeared in a vision. He showed himself in the clouds in front of the full moon, a silhouetted wolf howling, actually howling. I wish I had a camera or something that I could take His picture. After I saw him there, I howled too, not a great howl (for the Neighbors sake), but a howl of Acknowledgment. It was there that I took the name of MoonShadow.

This is a name I can be proud of and will carry me on in times of distress. After I sent this post, I went to sleep, and that night I had the most refreshing sleep in at least 2 years, I dreamt my new companion and I were there by a fire with the people that had met so much to me. All there in flesh and blood. We walked and talked, later that night I ran with MoonShadow on a hunt to find the rest of those skeletons in my closets, what I time I had, I found most of them and vanquished them, I could not have done it alone. Many thanks to those I have mentioned.

This is my story, I warned you that this was rather long and I hope you enjoyed it. :) Thanks, a much better and happier MoonShadow

Actually this is where the revision takes place, after two months I have found the companionship and friends that have been more of a family that rivals my own. This family covers the world from all over the US, to Ireland, to Australia and New Zealand, to South Africa, I would not give this up for anything. I am a strong beliver in the practices of Wicca. I hope to bring my personal Spiritual Thierianthropy and my Personal Wicca teachings in a wonderful balance.

Since I have joined AHWW, I have enjoyed many pleasures that I would have oblivious to, some of these are:

  • Traveling across 5 new states and 2 canadian providences. (Thanks RedWolf and Belgarion for hosting the Nova Scotia Howl.)
  • Finding my Bi-Sexuality, something that I would have found sooner or later. (Thanks to Hiker and WingedWolf, my lap is always welcome to sleep in.)
  • Getting off of AOL, and finding my current ISP! (Up yours AOL!)
  • Knowing the feeling that you wake up at the crack of dawn, just to find out that the inside of your tent is coated with a THICK layer of ice. And as the tent thawed out, waking up to a chinese water torture. (Thanks to Wizard Wolf for the tent and both he and Redcoat to share it with me.)
  • Finding a new religion that I can find peace in without being rubbed in your face and the freedom to "do as thou will and no harm done" (thanks to my ex-(of June, 1995) for showing what I am capable of doing!)
  • Hosting my own Howl, in April of 1996.

For a short time, I have been searching for another Wereside to my existance, I have found her, she was a lynx. Since then, I have been arguing with the Lynx that I had claimed that was part of my 'side as well. Well, as time went on, the more and more I felt uncomfortable with her in me, the way that I was acting, and so on. And this was becoming too much, since she was blocking out MoonShadow. This I did not like, there is also a story to this as well. It seems when I was talking to Rimblesah, he was telling me, "If you do not like her, kick her out, after all, it's your body." This I did and had every intention of doing so and she was unwilling to leave. To force her to leave, I was forced to destroy the construct that I had built, and this would include completly severing ties With MoonShadow as well. I took that chance. I destroyed that construct, effectivly kicking her out, and re built it later, just to make sure that she would not reenter that domain. When i rebuilt it, guess who was waiting? MoonShadow, and can we say that we were overly glad to see each other in that Dream Scape of mine?! (sly grin)

Please insert another nine months in here, somewhere.
And NO it was not a maternity leave!

Gads, this is just now being updated from January of '96, and here it is, in October of the same year.

I have been doing quite a bit of growing in the months that I have been away.
  • I had a wonderful relationship with AzureWolf, from March of '96 to August of '96. This was a wonderful, full long-distance relationship that was beautiful, I enjoyed what she and I had together. But, due to circumstances of things that we could not manage, (Long distance, committments, and the like) we seperated from each other.
  • For a while, I had found some discomfort in the bickerings of AHWW and decided to walk away from it for a while, hoping it would cool off, or something. This was a BAD idea. When i had walked away from AHWW, it seemed that I walked into FurryMUCK and mucking in general. I liked it, and little by little, I was ignoring the reason for establishing myself in the internet, in the first place. I was becoming, 'Furryfied'. Something that i had refused to become, for any reason, before. I was enjoying it, craving it, and I was addicted, and I did not like what was there. I had a relationship that turned out sour with a fur that was there, he will remain unknown.
  • When this relationship turned out bad, I wanted/needed to get back to what I was. Because, I did not like what i had become. I has lost who I was.
  • When trying to find myself again, i had hit a stumbling block, for the consistant presence that had been there, was gone.
It has seemed that I had lost my Wereside and companion, MoonShadow. For when i looked back to where he was, to find some sort of comfort, i found an empty hole. And that place that he was, had gone cold. He was gone for a long time. :(
Later, i wrote this letter to those that cared about me.
On suggestion of a dear friend, and trusted companion, I will take more time, away from the mucks, and concentrate on trying to get back in touch with my self and personal were-ness, which I have neglected for the past few months. I also hope to get back in touch with MoonShadow, my Spirit Totem, which has, effectively been placed 'on hold' since steering away from AHWW, and onto the mucks. This is for my own good, as well as allowing myself to heal, and recover. Not only physically, but emotionally, and spiritually as well. I am calling this a retreat of sorts. Not necessarily running away, but just time for myself.
  • I am trying to remember the last time, I drove out into the country, sat on a hill top, relaxed, and watched a thunderstorm come in, pour it's fury in, on, around and through me.
  • The last time, I hugged a tree.
  • The last time I smelt the roses.
  • The last time I took time for myself.
  • The last time that I had to think for myself.
  • The last time I curled up with a good book.
  • The last time I howled at the moon with real meaning behind it.
  • The last time that I have done anything for myself.

These last times escapes me, at this time, but I know that it was not within the last six months.

To tell you the truth, I do need time with family, Real life friends, and with myself.

As of this writing, of Saturday, October 5, 1996, 3:05am. I am still searching for what I had lost.

 

 
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