Phillupus' Werecard

Human Name: Phillip Andrew Bernhardt-House, often just Phillip or Phil
Were Name: Phillupus Cú Glas Conrechta Lycanthropos Kelev
Email Address: alfrecht@hotmail.com	
Phenotype: canis lupus, orcinus orca
Shifting Ability: mental/spiritual, totemic, dream (mostly); slightly physical a few times
Birthdate: May 22, 1976, 1:38 AM; Gemini, Mercurial Decant, Moon in Pisces; Chinese Year of the Dragon
Birthplace: Oak Harbor, WA, U.S.A.
Home Territory: San Juan Islands, Washington State, U.S.A.; Currently in Cork, Ireland
Dream Territory: Somewhere in Western Washington-a spacious house with a bit of 
forest nearby, in sight of the Cascades and Puget Sound
Physical Description, Human: 6'6 ½, 200 lbs., green eyes, auburn hair, tall & lanky
Physical Description, Were: varies from totally lupine to shades in between, as 
little as a change of eye color (to yellow-gold) 
Human Career: Ph.D. Student (will be a professor eventually)
Hobbies/Interests: reading, writing, music (listening to and playing-percussionist and singer), 
acting, dancing, photography, sword collecting, role-playing, watching films, BDSM, political 
activism…occasionally bowling…and so much more…
Favorite Movies: "Run Lola Run," "The Matrix," "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade," many others
Favorite Were-movie: "Ladyhawke"
Favorite Literature: Celtic (Old Irish and Middle Welsh), Medieval/Arthurian
Favorite Were Literature: Marie de France's "Lai du Bisclavret"
Favorite Art: Pre-Raphaelite, Waterhouse's "Hylas and the Nymphs" and "Lady of Shalott," 
the Unicorn Tapestries, the Ardagh Chalice…
Favorite Were-art: haven't found any good stuff yet…
Favorite Quote: "In the War of the Sexes, I'm a conscientious objector."  --RookThomas Hine
Favorite Were Saying/Quote: You loathe me, loathe lycanthropy; but what you have failed 
to realize is this: I am the disease, and it's me…
Favorite Personal Quote: I'm not that vain!  Well, wait…a myth is a story only an idiot believes 
is true, but if you don't believe a myth is true, you're an idiot.
Favorite Song/Band(s): too many-Loreena McKennitt, Sarah McLachlan, Krishna Das…
Favorite Season: between Samain (Oct. 29) and the full moon after Feb. 15 (Lupercalia)
Favorite Holidays: Imbolc (Feb. 1), Lupercalia (Feb. 15)
Preferred Prey: chicken (prepared almost any Asian style), mussels, shrimp; idiots, bigots, hypocrites
Hunting Tips: Go for the throat. Period.
Preferred Method of Attack: depends on what is being attacked-the best strategy is not to 
have a set strategy until the situation is fully understood; the key words:  versatility and adaptability.
Favorite Non-Were Mythological Beast: Aes Síde or Archangels
Feelings Toward Vampires: They're terrific people!
Feelings Toward Normal Humans: They're terrific people!
Personal Therianthropy: I've been studying Indo-European (especially Celtic) werewolves a 
lot in the past few years, and have learned a great deal, not only academically, but about 
myself as well.

In terms of the 16th century (and later) medical texts, I fit many of the profiles for being a 
werewolf/lycanthrope, including light sensitivity, nocturnal habits, bleeding gums and severe 
dehydration (the latter two caused by both being asthmatic and the medications I'm on, one of 
which, atropine, was connected to lycanthropy in the past), and acute melancholia-this would 
be determined by having too much "black bile" in one's blood, and my blood is always very dark, 
almost purple.  As far as the berserker characteristics go (ulfedhnar  [wolf-warrior/shifter] and 
berserker [bear-warrior/shifter] are closely connected; I'm mostly Germanic in heritage, and my 
surname has the element bern which means "bear"), I also can look different enough just 
naturally from day to day to the point that I can't be recognized, can disappear easily and quickly 
despite my size, have asthma and digestive problems (not to mention diabetes, but this isn't 
directly connected), and my displays of anger are usually immediately accompanied by crying 
and intense emotional release.  Further, by ancient Roman physiognomy, the fact that I have 
lupine-like eyes also marks me as someone who has a non-heterosexual orientation-and this 
latter fact is inextricably connected with nearly every Indo-European werewolf tradition.

Just a bit about my name/s first:  I changed the Greek derivative of my name Phillip from jilippoV 
(philippos, "lover of horses") to a mixed Latin-Greek Phillupus, or "lover-wolf" (and, interestingly 
enough, in many Indo-European and further afield cultures, equines and canines/lupines are 
connected to one another, not only in symbology, but also in name/language). Cú Glas is Old Irish, 
literally meaning (some color) dog, or wolf, but semantically it became a legal term meaning 
foreigner or outlaw; the "some color" is stated such because it can equally mean blue, green, or 
grey (though in the lupine context, it is usually translated "grey"), which are not only any colors of 
which the sea can appear (which is probably why this term is used, since foreigners in ancient 
Ireland had to come from over the sea), but they're also my own preferred colors/color scheme 
(and I'm also from near the sea).  Conrechta is a very rare term in Old Irish, appearing only in the 
law-tract Bretha Crólige ("The Laws of Blood-Lying," a tract on sick-maintenance) in relation to 
female werewolves who "go about in the shape of wolves," with the term meaning "wolf-shapes."  
Lycanthropos (lukanqropoV) is obvious!  Kelev is Hebrew, meaning "dog," but also meaning a 
special order of gender-ambiguous, canine-identified priests of Astarte who were "sacred 
prostitutes."

While I felt the call for a very long time, and the yellow eyes manifested themselves sporadically 
in late 1994-early 1995 (between Oct. 31 and Feb. 10, oddly enough), and the wolf was determined 
to be my totem animal throughout this time, I only definitively (and finally!) realized this later on in 
February of 1995.  This was accomplished at last with the aid of tarot cards (The Druid Animal 
Oracle specifically), to the accompaniment of great laughter on my part, because it had been 
practically screaming at me for years! The first time I immersed myself in transformation and really 
becoming/embodying the werewolf was during a play I wrote, co-directed and starred in called 
"Bisclavret," in which I played the werewolf himself, had the opportunity to do the transformation 
sequence on stage without the aid of costume or makeup; and in the end, the play and the process 
that went in to doing it turned out to mirror the story of Bisclavret in more ways than one! 

In a retreat (a Silent Ignatian/Jesuit one-long story!) in February of 1999, I did a meditation exercise 
on the spur of the moment and mirror-gazed in a darkened room for a while.  I saw the "shadow side" 
of myself, which was distinctly lycanthropic in nature, and when I realized this, a whole group of dogs 
and coyotes outside nearby began to howl!  My spiritual director, who was not totally comfortable with 
me not being Christian nor Catholic from the start, did not know what to do with this-and he (and everyone 
else there!) heard the coyotes with their own ears!

In a number of dreams, I've experienced transformations into various things, including killer whales, 
which in Northwest Coast Native American belief, are simply the "water-version" of wolves, literally
 "wolves of the sea."  I've ran with a wolf in one many years ago on an environmental-type errand, 
turned into a männerbund werewolf to fight vampires in one in the last year or so, experienced full 
lupine transformation in one during the past few months in order to protect a bean-síde from an evil 
fellow (in order to do this, I had to channel out as much of my killer-whale energy as possible in order 
to not be detected), and most recently turned into a bipedal wolf-giant in a recent dream in response
 to a pagan ritual which was disrupted by someone, further disrupted by a woman (who turned out to 
be a goddess) who I then confronted and beheaded, and then with a burning aura I incinerated her
 body and eventually everything around me/the whole ceremony, which was being done in a totally 
lifeless and meaningless way.

I think my werewolf nature is important for a number of reasons:  it is here to protect and instruct myself 
and others (wolf is the teacher's totem quite often); it shows me the importance of being an outsider and 
an outcast, and not fleeing from this role, rather learning to embrace it and my own difference and diversity 
and then offering this back to the community; it has taught me to fully embrace my sensuality, my sexuality 
(including my bisexuality, polyamory, BDSM, and metagendered aspects), and my physicality, where most 
Western medical practices and philosophies have only taught me to hate or be opposed to my body with 
its diseases rather than integrating them; it has taught me that straddling more than one reality and being 
more than one thing is to live in paradox, and that paradox liberates whereas hypocrisy enslaves, and that 
the truth in paradox is something that I can teach to others; it has taught me that I can work alone and be 
independent, but also can fulfill a role within a group/pack comfortably as well; and that to even be a fully 
"regular" human is to be both fully divine and fully animal, and us were-types should simply have more of 
a realization of that.  

I'd invite anyone who has an interest in integrating/exploring the werewolf life as a spirituality to come and 
join me on the Werewolf Spirituality list by sending an e-mail to: 
werewolfspirituality-subscribe@yahoogroups.com, or by going directly to the Yahoogroups pages and 
joining in that way.